Loose Ends

Hellooooo honey.

I’m at the brink of depression.

It’s just one thing after the other.

I need a break.

The paaaaainnnnn…….. =(

Bing, this post is just for you. Just to show I am still alive and kicking. Happy not?

I actually had a lot of things to blog about but things came up. Then other things came up. Shitty things at that.

And exams are around the corner.

I will be back. I promise.

It’s depressing being human sometimes.

Especially when you have health related problems that cannot be fixed. All you can do is sit and wait and watch, knowing the impending doom that might befall and there is nothing you can do…… except sit and wait and watch.

I must have done a lot of bad things in my past life for all these things to happen to me.

If that wasn’t depressing enough, dad called with bad news about the twins. Am waiting for the xrays so I know what’s going on.

Sucks to be a grown up. I don’t want to deal with all these things.

Life just plain sucks.

This is the first mother’s day without grandma.

I wonder where she went? Is she in a better place?

It’s been 5 weeks since she left us. It’s strange how life goes on like nothing has ever happened. It’s like she never even existed.

It was always a pleasure to able to see her every time I fly back home. Even when she couldn’t remember me anymore. Grandma was still grandma. With or without her memory.

I miss you, grandma.

I am PISSED!

I confronted J about his ‘wife’. *snicker*

1 word. BITCH!!

J knows me well enough to know that I don’t take shit from anyone unless I’ve done something to deserve the shit that’s thrown to me. Unfortunately for his wife that thinks she’s so above me, let me tell you this. I’m not going to sit still and take shit from you BECAUSE I’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!!!!

There I was thinking what in the world I’ve done wrong to offend her highness but guess what? I’ve done nothing wrong except for the fact that I am his ex. Sigh…… here we go again. Another stupid girl with her stupid baseless jealousy. I’m so sick of this. Give me a break can? She’s bloody married to him for god’s sakes! GAH!!! Why the fuck get all worked up over something that’s already in the PAST?!

Can’t she see that I’m already history whereas she is his future. He doesn’t come home to me every night. The marriage certificate doesn’t have my name on it. I’m not the one wearing his golf ball sized diamond ring (although I would love to…… not cuz of him but because the ring looks very nice can?). FUCKING HELL JUST GIMME A BREAK! *grumble grumble*

I have known J since I was a teenybopper and we have been on good terms despite me having to go through a tough breakup. Grow up already! Seriously. How can someone that’s older than me, well at least for a few months but enough for her to look like a 30 year old aunty, be so childish?!

J told me to have a ‘bigger heart’, sorry but no can do. I think I’ve taken enough. Ever since he told me that they signed the bloody papers I have kept my distance from him. Heck, I don’t want to be seen as some bitch seducing a married man and of course I have my man to think about. I reflected on my behaviour in KL. Did I say something wrong that might have offended her? Was I being overly friendly with J when I saw him? Was I all touchy touchy with J without me realising? NO!!!! I was keeping myself in check. I knew we wouldn’t be instant friends but I really thought that over time we could be. The few of us share a pretty close bond with one another. Our relationship may be weird, me being J’s ex and S’s current woman, but we’ve moved past that. S has no qualms with me meeting up with J alone or not simply because he trusts me and we’re not even married! Where as she? Her royal highness is jealous over something that happened nearly over 10 years ago?! Then just go back to China where you belong and don’t come back because you don’t belong here you alien!

Fucking pissed can?

Seriously. Why does this always happen to me?! Same thing happened with May. Only difference is I actually did something to piss her off but only because she’s a conniving bitch. What is it with these women? I must have done something very wrong to women in general in my previous life.

J told me to give her some time. She’ll come around sooner or later. Guess what? I don’t owe it to be nice to her. I’m nice simply because I want to be nice but when all I get is her spewing anger at me? Sorry. No can do. If anything she owes me and SHOULD make it a point to treat me well. I was the one that helped her husband through some rough times.

Selfish bitch.

I’d always thought J and I would never change. That we would never let things get between us. How wrong I was. This is just something that I don’t have to and don’t want to deal with. Stupid people with their stupid jealousy.

I’m so tired.

I really like this picture for some reason.

Excuse the bad outfit. He was working on site in the morning thus the cap and polo tee.

Shows the softer side in him, doesn’t it?

Ok, I’m just being biased.

C’mon, gimme kiss kiss.

Watching the Olympics, men’s 10m platform synchronized swimming.

*Wash eyes wash eyes*

Nice muscular body, oooooh look at that abs! Top that off with super tight swimming gear. Oh, and did I mention that it’s tiny? MMmmm…….

*wash eyes wash eyes*